Richard Parker's Christening

To understand the magnitude of this epic adventure you must first hear how it all came about. Now despite what my perpetual milky white skin color says, I actually LOVE LOVE LOVE being outside. It's my absolute fave. You could probably start a small outdoor gear store (with a little Lilly thrown in of course)  out of my closet. For Christmas this year my dad decided to get me a kayak. Sweet gift right? If only I had ever been kayaking before. That's right, I live with the Saluda river in my backyard and have never been kayaking. I mean I go in the river all the time but it's usually in a canoe with a man who bends iron for a living doing the navigating/paddling. So I get this orange water vessel in December and have had to wait 4 months to use it. Talk about torture. But today was the day!!!

The day when all weather and water conditions were going to be perfect for me to try my luck at paddling up river. UM FALSE. We (and by we, obvi i mean my dad, I'm weak) throw our canoe and my precious kayak into the back of the truck and bebop on down the driveway to the boat ramp. Much to my horror, it was packed! WTF people aren't supposed to be around as I attempt to kayak for the first time. This is basically equivalent to p.e. in elementary school when we had to do pull ups as the entire class watched. Talk about traumatizing. I was beginning to have flashbacks to this terrible event in my childhood when we caught a glimpse of the water. Boy was it running high. Secretly I was hoping that there was no way my dad was going to let his lil baby out in that current and we would have to settle for coming back another day (when there were less people to watch me spaz). But no, good ol Greg (my dad) decided that I should at least paddle from one ramp to the other...essentially 30 feet tops. I knew there would be no arguing against this...He had spoken and this was going to happen whether I liked it or not. So I get in the kayak and dad pushes me out into the water. After my small panic attack subsided, I was able to paddle the 6 seconds needed to get me to the other ramp. I SURVIVED. Ecstatic to have completed the task at hand, I was ready to hop out and go on home for the glass of sweet tea one deserves after surviving a life threatening event. My dad had other ideas. He thought I was competent enough to venture out in the big water and paddle up stream. Not what I wanted to hear. Once again I had to look death by drowning in the eye and kick em in the balls. So my dad pushed me off into the water and I started frantically paddling. I soon got the hang of it and was really moving.As if me spazzing in a kayak isn't funny enough please keep in mind that as I'm out in the river paddling, my dad is running alongside me on the bank. It was just like when he taught me to ride a bike back when I was 5. He never left my side the whole time. What a keeper :)

 After I made it to my final destination, I did some spelunkering and turned around and let the current take me back home. Surprisingly enough I still had all of my fingers and toes when I got out of the water. SUCCESS! While I was paddling it became very apparent to me that this kayak of mine needed a name. After thinking long and hard (and polling my friends) After some good contenders Eduardo (Brooks), Maggie (Rach), Ty(christine), Caspian (Lily), Ivan (Jordan), and we can't forget El Tigre (none other than Tracey LeBlanc), I decided to name it....drumroll please....RICHARD PARKER. Richard Parker is this bengal tiger (who was stranded at sea in a boat with a lil boy) in one of my favorite books Life of Pi (read it if you haven't...so so so good). Well me and my Richard Parker survived our first trip in the river. I'm sure we'll have more adventures this summer worth telling your grandkids about.